Safe Sexting – What you should & shouldn’t be doing when you Send Nudes
1. Consent and be comfortable
Don’t feel pressured to consent
It’s not uncommon for someone to be persistent, or even guilt trip you. You should never let someone decide for. There are obvious risks involved with sexting and in the ,end you are the person responsible for what you put out there.
Share what you’re comfortable with
If you do decide that sexting is for you, then the next step is how far you want to go. Always go with what you’re comfortable with. There is no need to go full nude, starting off slow is like foreplay. A couple of buttons undone can be as arousing as seeing everything. This could likely change as you develop more trust for the person and things get a little heated.
Set some ground rules before you start
As everyone’s different, you can never know what the other person’s expectations are. They maybe safe and never save/ screenshot or they might start a collection. Because of this, its always good to set some terms with the other person before you start.
2. Do you trust the person you sexting
Sexting with strangers
It sounds obvious but not everyone is trustworthy. Ground rules won’t help in these cases.
You may feel like you know someone online but until you meet them in person you never know if they are putting on an act. Unless you’re comfortable with the possible outcomes it’s probably best to wait.
Evaluate the other person
It can be hard to tell the character of someone you haven’t spent much time with. One trick to evaluating a person is how they handle small things. For example, turning up on time or how they talk to and about others. One final thing, if they are pressuring you it’s very likely a red flag.
Sexting a partner
The most common person to send nudes to is a partner and although the amount people are sexting is increasing, it doesn’t give your partner the right to expect anything. Whilst sexting with your partner, make sure you give them a heads up so that they don’t open the message when at work or when in public. It is very crucial to do so, as neither of you both want a third party looking at your nudes.
3. Safe sexting
Check your device settings
Nowadays, everything is set up to be as convenient as possible for you. One of these setups is accessing your photos from anywhere. Disable auto backup on icloud and google photos to avoid your sexts being uploaded to the internet. If they are there can be a lot of trouble of deleting from multiple devices. Also having multiple Apple devices on the same account can mean multiple devices will be receiving your messages, and therefore multiple people.
Don’t show your face
Hacks are not uncommon, the 2014 release of celebrity nudes is a perfect example of this. And even if you’re taking all the necessary steps. You can never be sure if you or the recipient have covered everything. Because of this, you should never show your face. Following this rule from the start will save you a lot of concern down the line.
Use a secure app
Using a secure app like signal, facebook messenger in private mode or Whatsapp with backup turned off is another smart decision. It’s now a common understanding the messaging companies save and scan through messages with bots. A hack of one of the companies cloud lead to some very personal content getting out there. This means it’s almost a must that you use an app which encrypts messages.
4. Sext at the right times
Sexting at work
The most common place people send texts from is work. If you’re trying to be sneaky, the chance of you sending nudes to the wrong person increase. Also, it should be needless to say a company phone or email is not the right device to be used.
While on a night out or under the influence
Another popular time to sext is when you’re on a night out, you’re away from your partner and have gained the confidence that comes with a little drinking. You also have to remember you aren’t as under control and could end up making a mistake, for example, sending pictures to someone else or sending something that gives away your identity
Watch out what you open in public
This isn’t as focused on sending but more so on receiving. If you’re in a co working space or on a commute home be careful. Your partners dignity is just as important as yours.
5. Tidy up after
Deleting from your phone
Make sure you delete any nudes from your phone and that you delete them everywhere. Apple doesn’t immediately delete your photos, they are moved to a folder called recently deleted and removed after a month. Forgetting to empty the trash folder is another common mistake, but this can change depending on the device. Best idea is to check what happens with deleted content on your device.
If your phone’s hooked up to iCloud or Google photos, your images can end up in multiple places. This makes deleting a lot harder and increases the chances of someone having access who you’d rather didn’t. Check all computers with the account on just in case.
If you decide you want to keep nudes do it responsibly, with the hack of celebrity photos in 2014 highlighting the importance of this. Keep them off the cloud and in a hidden folder, and maybe stop this folder from being saved on backups. If you really want to be careful a USB stick you keep is a safe place is the way to go.